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HOLONS

 

A holon is something that is both a whole and, at the same time, a part of a larger whole.

Through the eyes of SELF, steep in the curiosity of another – the holonic depths, the wonder of the complexity of being, the struggle and seeking to connect and be different. 

 

You and I are two parts connected by a larger field of energy. A holon - with a consciousness that is more than the sum of its parts, seeking to know itself through physical form and embodiment, through me, through you, through us.

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THE BEAUTIFUL TANGLED DANCING EVOLVING MESS THAT IS US

 

Our parts are in constant motion.

           dancing, pushing, pulling, seeking,                                             mirroring, untangling, linking. 

                                    Experiencing the desperate struggle and                                  ecstatic beauty of being an individual.

          The rageful entanglement and

                           blissful sweetness of connection.               

     The bursting excitement and abject terror 

                                                of being seen and known.

                   Endlessly working and hoping                   

                             to expand and deepen in awareness,     

                of the complexity and simplicity of me, you.

 Trying to create a place for all of us

               to embody the love and joy of our Souls and the Spirit. 

THE LIVING TIME MACHINE

 

we're building something here. 

      it hasn't been pretty but it will be beautiful

           creating something out of nothing

                  fragile and tenous

                       but somehow it holds, and we keep on

                              bringing love into form 

                                    lifting the veil little by little

                                          vacillating between the extremes

                                          pushing up and reaching down

                                    heaven and earth 

                            transcending and including

                    the entirety of history in every moment,

            in every brick, in each idea

       a mission into the unknown

 to what was once known

  

 

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                                 YELLOW FLOWER

                When your world comes crumbling down

                                                                     what will you focus on?

                                         Grabbing what you can?

                                                          Doom and gloom?

                                         Putting it back together?

                                                              Blaming someone?

                                         The good ole days? 

                                                        Whatever can numb the pain? 

                                                   Or 

                     What's emerging through the cracks? 

      THE BECOMING
 

                               from the quiet stillness

                                                 I emerged. 

                                                                       out of the nothingness

                        to bring the invisible into form. 

         brick by brick

     layer upon layer

                       Fighting, fucking, friending 

                                                              My numbers growing

                                              My connections spreading

                                                                 curious to know and feel my SELF 

                                               through you
                                                                and you
                                                                                 and
                                                                                             you

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EVOLVE AND EMBRACE

Get me out of here! 

                                     

                                                 I’ve got you. 

This uncertainty, 

                  this suffering, 

                            this struggle. 

                                                         There is nothing

                                                              wrong with you.

    I need to get free

                                 You are already free.

DANCING WITH MY SELVES

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LINKAGE (I'VE GOT YOU)

 

Our parts form a kind of neurological and energetic structure in our bodies that create the foundation for our ability to give and receive love and compassion – within ourselves, with others, with the cosmos.

 

The complexity, communication, and harmony between parts builds an experience of trust and safety that allows SELF energy to be felt and known in greater abundance, thus increasing the ability to open our heart and mind to deeper truth and greater care.

 

There is something deeply relieving when you know someone has got you, our society as a whole has got us, and ultimately, knowing that Spirit has got us. 

MANAGING UNCERTAINTY
 

         dropped into this reality

                                                       what am I supposed to do?!

                         stay alive!

                                      get close to people - safety in numbers!

    i have to be strong! 

                     but don't be an asshole

                                                                  gather a bunch of resources!

                what or who have we left behind?!

                                            put all our heads together

                      coordinate 

we can do this!

                                                   i'm not sure what we're even doing!

                     that's the point!

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THE CALL OF ONENESS

 

Behind the feelings,
                    below the thoughts and chatter,
                                                        from out of the Silence . . .

                                                                                                         a call. 
 

                                 Come here. Come closer. 

                                        We are waiting for you. 

                                                                            You can be you.
                                                                                 I can be me.                                                                                                                      Together.
 

                               Can you hear the call?

                     Do you fear the call?
 

                                                                       The call of Oneness. 

RE-MEMBER

I see you.

All of you. 

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THE PROTECTORS

 

   We’re here for you. 
 

                            Since the beginning.
 

              Keeping you safe.
 

                                              Protecting the hurt.
 

                               We’re pretty tired.
 

                                                                     But we’ll keep going. 
 

       Seeking out the light.

TRIBES OF EMERGENCE

Let me show you the way, 

                  through the uncertainty.

    I have something to offer.

                                     A piece of the truth,

                                                      of what's needed,

                                                                              to complete our mission. 

              For this is not the end. 

                                 There is more to learn, see, and do.

  But I need remember to not be so quick                                                                                                             to jettison the past,

                                     for vision comes from standing on shoulders,

                                                   and treasures from tribes past,

                                                           energizing the push of evolution                                                                            and its determined arrow,

                        as it writes a new story through me.                                                                         and you.      and us. 

       of how we are realizing and accomplishing our mission.                                                                                                 To become One tribe. 

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THE FOUNDATIONS OF FLOURISHING

STRUCTURALIZING  THE  DIVINE

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COME BACK TO ME

it started with an awareness.

                             of something missing, 

                       and years of searching and seeking.

                                         disappointment

                                     after disappointment,

           exhausted and hopeless. 

                                       until a turn within.

                 to an inner world.

                             where curiosity leads the way,               
                                                       and the energy of SELF fuels

                                               the meeting, untangling, befriending,                                                                     unburdening of parts,

                 that assiduously kept hidden and safe                                                            what was most precious,

                                                               most essential,

                                                                            most yearned for.

                               for what was lost so long ago.

                                                                                           our innocence. 

HERE WITH YOU

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I'M FINE

                  I'm Fine

         Can’t you see that? 

       I need you to see that. 


    If you saw how anxious I felt,
                how confused, angry, helpless, sad,

                                 needy, lost, hopeless, ashamed,                                                                                                   you would think I was weak.
                                                 You would judge me, dismiss my feelings,                                                              be angry with me, humiliate me. 

                                                You would run from me like I was a bomb. 

                                                                       Or in desperation,
                                                                   you would try to fix me. 

            I would see your discomfort when you look at me. 

     Then I would feel like I was burdening you. 

That would just hurt more.  

              It would confirm that no one could possibly love the real me. 

                                            It’s much better to be fine.
                                                 For both of our sakes. 

So that’s what I am. 

                       Fine. 

             And yes, I’m sure. 

EXPRESSIONS

Can you see, hear, feel what is beneath the surface?

There are vast systems at work helping us to
survive and thrive,
to adapt and grow,
to heal and express,
to connect and protect.

So much is being expressed through a person
moment to moment. 
It makes me want to sing, dance, and
sometimes shut down or drink. 

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MAKING SENSE OF IT ALL

           Think, think, think. 

                                                  What is all this? 

                   Who am I?

              Why am I here?

      What happens when I die?

                                                             Figure it out I will.

            Think think think. 

                                                                             I’m getting closer. 

                                                               I can taste it, hear it, feel it, see it. 

                                         The safety, the release, the freedom of knowing. 

            Nope. Not it.  

                                                Clutch on to something then. 

Never enough. 

                                      It’s relentless.

                                                                     These pangs of uncertainty

A FORCE OF LOVE

                      I will not run.

                  I will not submit.

                   I will not avoid.

          I will not stay still or quiet.

 

                         I am free.

                     

                         Powerful.

                       

                          Strong.
 

        And will fucking annihilate the boxes you try to put me in. 

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PERSUADERS OF GROWTH

This painting reflects the interactive and interdependent 
forces of nature and nurture ,
of self-determination and conditioning,
of our innate drive to grow and expand,
and the environments that support or restrain that drive.

May you continue to embody  greater
truth, goodness, and beauty. 

SELF-portrait 

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SELF portrait (unblended)

 

I'm here. 

If you would like to feel loved,

heard and understood,

cared for,

supported.

I'm here. 

 

If are ready to let go of the struggle, 

the seeking,

the pain, 

the burdens you carry, 

I'm here.

 

If you would like to know the perfection, 

the innate goodness, 

the love 

that you already are,

I'm here. 

 

Always.  

self-portrait (blended)

 

We will help

keep you safe 

get you loved and respected

motivate you

find you comfort

We will help

 

You need us

to survive this life

to manage your pain

to step up and do what no one else could do

to carry the burdens

to deal with the uncertainty

to greet the great love we find

You need us. 

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SYNTHESIZING COMPLEXITY

THE SURE PATH TO UNCERTAINTY

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I AM THAT

                  Breathe

         There is nothing to reject or protect

                                   It is all you

VISION LOVE

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